Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Ode to A First City Love
Four months in New York was just enough time to get over the hump (of being overwhelmed), get a little taste of complete freedom of self, and really fall in love.
I've never missed anyplace as much as I miss New York. I've missed places, for sure, but always get over it with some manner of time- knowing that I wouldn't want to be in said place forever, or knowing that I can easily return.
But with New York, it's different. Everything is happening all the time, and I don't want to miss a beat. It was the first city that challenged me to be my very best self, yet at the same time accepted whoever and whatever that self was or might become in its entirety. It not only inspired but also demanded of me to succeed at things I didn't even imagine I would ever attempt.
Freedom of Thought and Study
It was the first time I was in an environment where I could find likeminded individuals in every single category- mingle with musicians and investment bankers in the same hushed bar, link all in one place with connections from all parts of my life from california and boston and japan, and most of all, for the first time, have access to individuals and institutions who seriously believe that fashion is an integral part of the study of culture and serious thinking. To finally feel like maybe all of the disjointed ideas floating around in my head were a part of a reality in this city and were considered important enough for rigorous academic study was incredible, maybe even addictive.
Freedom of Movement
Some people call the New York "lifestyle" unhealthy- the caricature of a city constantly "on." I beg to differ. I think that this city gives people the time and space and room to grow and live how they wish. Because most everything is available all of the time- you don't have to mold into a social construction of work hours, holiday time, closing times, cars. Many people do still follow normal rush hour rules and rules of general car parking mayhem. But, the point is, you don't HAVE to. If going to sleep when the garbage trucks start rolling past your window, or going to work when the subway stations get hosed clean in the middle of the night, or meeting a friend for a late night dinner is what suits you just fine, then the city won't stop you. Your momentum and pace is yours to keep, and the city just gives you options for how to keep your momentum- never will close a door and tell you, "maybe tomorrow." And, if there is a special event for anything- corporate, musical, individual- most likely it is in New York, and most likely you can get there by train in about 20 minutes. New York gives you freedom to say "yes" to the moment!
Freedom from Dullness
I was often lonely during my time in New York, and that was probably the hardest thing for me day in and day out. I was starting out in a giant new city with 3 new jobs and no existing friends. However, my loneliness never got too bad because all I had to do was go outside and become lost in observation. I walked and walked and walked- I was determined to walk around every neighborhood and made a good start but didn't get to all of them, of course. EVERYTHING was interesting to me- there was never a dull block, really. I don't understand why that is or how it came to be this way, maybe it is because the zoning rules are different? I liked having mixed zoning everywhere- shops amongst housing amongst offices amongst groceries. No mall-areas with a big safeway and cvs and parking lot. I'd rather live above a cvs than park in front of one. The loneliness started to subside towards the end of my trip. But lonely or not, every day was vivid.
Freedom of Self
All in all, for me, all of these freedoms amounted in such a strong sense of freedom of self. I felt like I could do whatever I wished to do and achieve whatever I wanted to achieve. I hope to keep this spirit and gusto with me wherever I live. But right now, there is nothing more that I want than to return to those city streets to pound some more pavement and really see what I could become with that city beat lifting me, amplifying me, freeing me.
I've never missed anyplace as much as I miss New York. I've missed places, for sure, but always get over it with some manner of time- knowing that I wouldn't want to be in said place forever, or knowing that I can easily return.
But with New York, it's different. Everything is happening all the time, and I don't want to miss a beat. It was the first city that challenged me to be my very best self, yet at the same time accepted whoever and whatever that self was or might become in its entirety. It not only inspired but also demanded of me to succeed at things I didn't even imagine I would ever attempt.
Freedom of Thought and Study
It was the first time I was in an environment where I could find likeminded individuals in every single category- mingle with musicians and investment bankers in the same hushed bar, link all in one place with connections from all parts of my life from california and boston and japan, and most of all, for the first time, have access to individuals and institutions who seriously believe that fashion is an integral part of the study of culture and serious thinking. To finally feel like maybe all of the disjointed ideas floating around in my head were a part of a reality in this city and were considered important enough for rigorous academic study was incredible, maybe even addictive.
Freedom of Movement
Some people call the New York "lifestyle" unhealthy- the caricature of a city constantly "on." I beg to differ. I think that this city gives people the time and space and room to grow and live how they wish. Because most everything is available all of the time- you don't have to mold into a social construction of work hours, holiday time, closing times, cars. Many people do still follow normal rush hour rules and rules of general car parking mayhem. But, the point is, you don't HAVE to. If going to sleep when the garbage trucks start rolling past your window, or going to work when the subway stations get hosed clean in the middle of the night, or meeting a friend for a late night dinner is what suits you just fine, then the city won't stop you. Your momentum and pace is yours to keep, and the city just gives you options for how to keep your momentum- never will close a door and tell you, "maybe tomorrow." And, if there is a special event for anything- corporate, musical, individual- most likely it is in New York, and most likely you can get there by train in about 20 minutes. New York gives you freedom to say "yes" to the moment!
Freedom from Dullness
I was often lonely during my time in New York, and that was probably the hardest thing for me day in and day out. I was starting out in a giant new city with 3 new jobs and no existing friends. However, my loneliness never got too bad because all I had to do was go outside and become lost in observation. I walked and walked and walked- I was determined to walk around every neighborhood and made a good start but didn't get to all of them, of course. EVERYTHING was interesting to me- there was never a dull block, really. I don't understand why that is or how it came to be this way, maybe it is because the zoning rules are different? I liked having mixed zoning everywhere- shops amongst housing amongst offices amongst groceries. No mall-areas with a big safeway and cvs and parking lot. I'd rather live above a cvs than park in front of one. The loneliness started to subside towards the end of my trip. But lonely or not, every day was vivid.
Freedom of Self
All in all, for me, all of these freedoms amounted in such a strong sense of freedom of self. I felt like I could do whatever I wished to do and achieve whatever I wanted to achieve. I hope to keep this spirit and gusto with me wherever I live. But right now, there is nothing more that I want than to return to those city streets to pound some more pavement and really see what I could become with that city beat lifting me, amplifying me, freeing me.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
What I've Been Up To in the Past 10 Days...
Applying to grad school!! Surprise! It was a surprise to me too, sort of.
Every few months for over a year now, I keep going back to this web page. It felt like a far away dream. For some reason, I would always close the page. But I just couldn't get it out of my mind, and eventually (it took me a while), I realized that there was no need to.
I have been rallying the troops- thank you so very very much to hours of reading and re-reading to Kathryn, Amaro, Hillevi, and Evan. Also a huge thank you to my recommenders Nancy Bauer and Linda Ross-Girard. It is humbling to know that so many people are willing to give so much of their time and be so supportive, even at such short notice.
I would be absolutely beyond excited to continue my studies at Parsons. I think that the environment would be incredible. I am putting forth my best effort, and we will see what happens. Stay tuned!
Every few months for over a year now, I keep going back to this web page. It felt like a far away dream. For some reason, I would always close the page. But I just couldn't get it out of my mind, and eventually (it took me a while), I realized that there was no need to.
I have been rallying the troops- thank you so very very much to hours of reading and re-reading to Kathryn, Amaro, Hillevi, and Evan. Also a huge thank you to my recommenders Nancy Bauer and Linda Ross-Girard. It is humbling to know that so many people are willing to give so much of their time and be so supportive, even at such short notice.
I would be absolutely beyond excited to continue my studies at Parsons. I think that the environment would be incredible. I am putting forth my best effort, and we will see what happens. Stay tuned!
Thursday, January 5, 2012
New Year, Old Intentions
Somehow New Year's intentions seem a bit strange to me- December 31st to January 1st is, of course, a ceremonial demarcation of time that isn't actually real. I guess lots of things aren't "real" but we use them to help us make sense of a world that really, in general, doesn't make much sense.
In any case, I think it is good that once per year, people have an excuse to look at their lives in some sort of perspective and decide if they want to make any changes. They might make changes. Or, more likely, they might make a list of abstract intentions that they wish to pursue in their new year.
This shouldn't sound cynical. In fact, I feel very positive about 2012. I am very excited. I feel like I have a lot of energy to see my intentions through to their goals.
However, I feel like I'm already heading in the right direction. Sure, it's January, but I don't feel the need to make a whole new list of intentions. My old intention, the intention I hope to have every single day until I think up a better way to live, is to take action on the things I want to do, and work very hard with lots of energy towards making sure that I can do what I want to do with my life- whether it be going on a walk, becoming financially responsible, or going to graduate school. I know that I can make it happen, and it's all up to me to live every day not only with this intention but also with the action that goes along with it. So, I want to continue in this new year of 2012 with my old intentions, and continue with new actions. I am grateful to have personal energy (youth! I hope I feel this energetic to follow my interests for a long time!) and the support of family and friends to continue making things happen, big and small.
Ok, now time to get a bit (humanly) emotional about the passage of time- let's go get 'em, 2012. It's going to be a great year. I think lots of great things are going to happen.
One exciting thing I do do every year at the top of the calendar is purchase a new planner. I think I'm the only person I know my age who actually uses paper and pen to organize themselves. I haven't yet found a better solution!
In any case, I think it is good that once per year, people have an excuse to look at their lives in some sort of perspective and decide if they want to make any changes. They might make changes. Or, more likely, they might make a list of abstract intentions that they wish to pursue in their new year.
This shouldn't sound cynical. In fact, I feel very positive about 2012. I am very excited. I feel like I have a lot of energy to see my intentions through to their goals.
However, I feel like I'm already heading in the right direction. Sure, it's January, but I don't feel the need to make a whole new list of intentions. My old intention, the intention I hope to have every single day until I think up a better way to live, is to take action on the things I want to do, and work very hard with lots of energy towards making sure that I can do what I want to do with my life- whether it be going on a walk, becoming financially responsible, or going to graduate school. I know that I can make it happen, and it's all up to me to live every day not only with this intention but also with the action that goes along with it. So, I want to continue in this new year of 2012 with my old intentions, and continue with new actions. I am grateful to have personal energy (youth! I hope I feel this energetic to follow my interests for a long time!) and the support of family and friends to continue making things happen, big and small.
Ok, now time to get a bit (humanly) emotional about the passage of time- let's go get 'em, 2012. It's going to be a great year. I think lots of great things are going to happen.
One exciting thing I do do every year at the top of the calendar is purchase a new planner. I think I'm the only person I know my age who actually uses paper and pen to organize themselves. I haven't yet found a better solution!
Monday, January 2, 2012
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