memorandum

i realized that this week of may marks my one year anniversary of graduation from college. when you've been under the schedule of the school system for your entire life up to pretty much now, you start counting the years semester by semester rather than january to january.

so here's to my 1 year since college, and boy what a year it has been!

may, 2011: graduation. played a recital for my family. saw mom and dad at the same table for the first time since the divorce. moved myself on a very hot summer day to a house on packard avenue in somerville with 3 strangers. that very first shower felt oh so good after strapping on a queen size bed to the top of amaro's honda. helped amaro move to a new place in somerville, too- we rented a uhaul for that. the van was like our mini apartment for a day!

june, 2011: started working on the YouthBEAT project at the Berklee School of Music. actually started using the T to commute every morning, like a grown ass woman. loved being downtown in the midst of it all; hated being in air conditioning, under flourescent lights, in front of a computer all day. but, i did go to music classes and watch blues bands rehearse as my job, so can't complain too much- just learned i couldn't be a researcher.

july, 2011: went to the cape for a few weekends here and there and had lovely times alone with nana and gramps on the cape which hadn't happened in years and years. i love going to stop and shop with nana. watched the 4th of july parade in chatham, then hopped on the bus back to boston and got back in time for some magnificent fireworks over the charles on a warm summer night with amaro. picked up a second job at suneri. davis is always kind of magical in the summer- outdoor eating, places open late, music always floating in the air, film festivals...evan returned from tennessee to boston and stayed with me the first few nights. good thing amaro had gotten me an air conditioner as a house warming gift.

august, 2011: got used to cooking for myself and working normal person hours. got very good at making fruit smoothies, with or without rum. had many a dinner party with sharon, evan, and amaro on my back porch. evan and i slept in sharon's room all together one night when our air conditioning broke. good thing we all ended up living just a few blocks from one another.
i heard about the suicide of a classmate from high school. i cried on the porch where i had hung evan's laundry- we bartered- he cleaned the bathroom. i got a call from my costume design professor linda asking if i wanted to move to new york. i called anna. she said i could live in her room. i decided to go.

september, 2011: i moved to new york.  my first bus was cancelled due to the "hurricane."  south station was a madhouse the next day. amaro was such a good sport. i was late, buses were canceled, and i was leaving behind everything i knew with just 2 suitcases and no idea what the next thing was for me, which meant i was probably being a complete nutcase. we said goodbye.
4 hours later, meredith picked me up at the bus station in chinatown. boston and new york aren't that far away, but i felt very very far away. i felt like i had to be very brave. i moved myself into anna's room.
the very next morning, i took the subway to soho.  i made it to the film office on broadway without an iphone.  as soon as i got there, i was turned right back around to go pick up dresses from j.mendel.  then saks, then barney's, then maybe gucci? i can't remember.  i rode the subway 8 times that day.

october, 2011: i'd been working on 'gods behaving badly' for about a month. i get a second job working at bloomingdale's on 59th street. i meet up with tracy aronoff for the first time in years, and we share a bottle of wine over dinner al fresco near the high line. i start to fall absolutely in love with new york. amaro and i break up. my dad and i go on a trip to new orleans. i apply to the gap RMP program. i went on a weekend trip to the ocean in new jersey to play chamber music and made friends with my bus driver. i start writing once a week for tanteshaus.

november, 2011: i work on a few other productions- 'nous york', 'law and order'. new york is beautiful in the fall. i spend every open moment just walking the city, wandering through blocks upon blocks of this huge, groaning, beautiful jungle where you can be whatever you want to be. i take myself to museums, music, bookstores, nooks and crannies. i go to boston to spend thanksgiving with amaro and bill & lloyd. bill & lloyd are the most inspiring couple i know. i shake eileen fisher's hand. i complete my second round brand launch presentation interview for gap, during a lunch break at bloomingdale's while i was supposed to be attending the eileen fisher appearance event. i had stayed up all night the night before.

december, 2011: the snow starts to fall, i start being late for work at bloomingdale's. i land a gig with 'spiderman.' lia moves to new york to become a cellist. i start not knowing which way is up; i struggle to find where i'm going next. long nights, wrong men, poor sleep schedule. the way new york lets you get away with all of that becomes intoxicating.  i called my mother on the phone in the stockroom at bloomingdale's.  i was hungry and i cried and asked her if i could come home.  i quit everything, wrote everyone i knew their own incredibly earnest thank you card, and returned to california just in time for christmas in tahoe. i left meredith and zeb christmas gifts on the dining room table. i miss them.

january, 2012: spent the new year in san francisco with my brother, sister, and mom. safe. as i watched those fireworks on the embarcadero, i vowed that i was going to get myself wherever i wanted to go this year; every year. i holed myself up in my room, rallied all the troops, and at the other end of that week, i had applied to graduate school at parsons.  i cut off my hair. i shopped for shoes. i went to my gap RMP final round assessment day. i made damn sure nothing was in my way.  i got the gap job, and that very same day booked a ticket straight back to new york.

february, 2012: i took a glass blowing class, because i have always wanted to do that, and i had an open ended christmas present from my dad. i ended up with a huge crush. i went to new york and had tea with lia in the lobby of a hotel with floor to ceiling windows. i spend the best valentine's ever with lia in the east village. took a bus to d.c. and had pitchers of margaritas and luxurious dinners with college friends. i hung out with family peter, angela, and kids. i bussed to boston and landed at evan and sharon's house- their couch is the best. i can feel at home there. i got the last of my stuff out of amaro's apartment and out of his hair. i wore my nana's grey coat with fur everywhere. it started gently snowing in boston, just as i got on the plane back to california. i was glad to come back.

march, 2012: i did a little nesting in berkeley, ca and made it my home. i rekindled relationships with old music mentors and started the path of figuring out what happens next with music. i let my heart wander all over the place. then i flew to tokyo. sitting at a public computer, i open an email from my dad. i read an acceptance letter from parsons, thousands of miles away.

april, 2012: hokkaido, tokyo, kyoto, nara, hiroshima, miyajima, back to tokyo. five weeks of incredible trip, and as traveling always does, left me with perspective. i was ready to come home. one week later i started working with gap. all of a sudden, i'm in a corporate office that has its own modern art museum. am i dreaming? did my own tax returns. not dreaming. i finish reading simone de beauvoir 'the second sex.' not dreaming.

may, 2012: i turn 23. i get my first paycheck. i start searching for apartments in san francisco again. san francisco is not like new york, but i like it, i think just the same. it's softer, more romantic, gentler, easier. less exhilarating, but kinder. i do my yoga, painting, music. i make friends at work with a british girl and a southern boy. i realize that it has been a year since graduation.

right now, 2012: i can't see anything but up. right now, this year, oh, i am so ready to make you mine.

Kyoto

Since Kathryn has arrived in Japan we have been doing so much sightseeing I've haven't had much time to write.

The past four days we spent in Kyoto with one day trip to Nara. There were beautiful temples and shrines galore- some very much advertised and some so normal to be almost hidden away. It oftentimes seemed that there was some sort of ancient spiritual space down every little street.

One of the things that amazes me most about Japan is exactly this- that everything coexists one on top of one another. World heritage sites, temples, and emblems of thousands of years of history literally stand right next to love hotels, huge glittering shopping arcades, and the cutting edge.

Yesterday we saw Maiko (trainee geishas) do their spring dance performance in the gion district of Kyoto. The costumes were beautiful!

Other quick highlights- having real matcha at kiyomizu dera, going to hanami (Japanese tradition of going to a park area to enjoy the cherry blossoms and have a picnic) and joining in the local revelry, feeding sacred deer in Nara and getting our only map eaten by a mangy male deer, eating all different types of food- trying out the different regional ramen specialties, eating hot nabe at a soba restaurant that has been in business for over 300 years, eating okonomiyaki which was prepared on a hot plate before our eyes....

asakusa

yesterday was my first sightseeing day all alone!

i started by heading to the Asakusa Amuse Museum where i saw an incredible exhibit on 'boro,' or old, used textiles passed down through generations with patches and patches that are now (rightfully so) considered important works of textile art. i am sorry not to have a way to post pictures until i get back, but the exhibit as well as how it was curated was really incredible. it was one of the first museums i have ever been in where i was allowed to both touch and photograph most everything, which really added to the experience (textiles are fragile, so i understand why most places don't let visitors touch. however, maybe with this exhibit, they imagine that the visitors will add to the patina of the pieces by experiencing them through touch, so it is accepted. in any case, being able to experience the texture really added to the exhibit).

i then decided to continue the theme of the day and also head a bit outside of the touristy part of asakusa and head to uguisudan, one station north of ueno to tokyo's 'fabric town.' i didn't see a single other 'gaijin' there, but mostly just local women shopping for fabrics. the streets were lined with fabric shops, shops with notions and trims, raw leather stores, and some kimono shops.

i then headed to shibuya, the big shopping distric, because i remembered a good ramen place there.  at this ramen place, as with many, you buy a ramen ticket in a sort of vending machine which you then hand to your server.  also, i love that tips are not customary!

i wandered about shibuya, and although the higher-end stores feature many internaional and western designers, i wanted to find out and learn more about local designers. i found tsumori chisato and was particularly enamored with her sense of humor and use of color and volume in her shapes. also interesting that she worked for issey miyake, another japanese designer i admire.

kathryn and i added a little leg to our trip!  on our way back from hiroshima to tokyo, we are going to stop on an 'art island' called naoshima.  it looks incredible.  apparently the museums are lit purely with natural light, and if you spend the night (there is only one hotel and it is in the museum itself), you can wander the exhibits all through the night at any time you please.  we can't spend the night, but can you imagine, standing in front of a monet or a sculpture in a deserted gallery in your pajamas with only the stars as company?!

on my way

2 days ago, i left snowy hokkaido.  my first stop on my backpacking tour of japan (although you could hardly call my luggage that of a backpacker) was kamakura.

kamakura is a beautiful old seaside town about an hour outside of central tokyo. it was like nothing i have ever seen before. the local trains ran through such narrow spaces, like it was literally running through backyards and even front yards of old wooden houses perched along the sea.

i stayed with my mother's cousin sachiko-san and her husband. their daughter aya and i went out friday night together to a place where people go to eat and drink- my first time being out alone as a young person in japan. the place we went to was mostly men, and older men at that, all going out for drinks with their co-oworkers after a long day's work.  it seems that women generally go to cuter places, like cafes, but i liked that we went to the type of place aya normally goes to- in the company of men, and the smell of cigarettes and whiskey, we were right at home just the two of us at our little table, not paying much attention to anyone else or feeling particularly out of place ourselves.  women don't always have to be cute.

yesterday all day sachiko-san took me all around kamakura, and we saw temples and old villages galore. i drank real, frothy matcha out of a ceramic bowl nearly the size of my face.  it was so deeply green it tasted almost grassy, yet not bitter.

today aya and i went to enoshima, an island near kamakura that is popular among the surfer / sailor type it seems. i've never been on a japanese island before, but it was beautiful, island-y like other places but very japanese at the same time. we climbed to the very top of the lighthouse and went to the temple there, the only temple i will go to that is right on the sea!

i left kamakura today and came to takahata, also in tokyo but about an hour and a half today. i am staying with the suzuki family, and am waiting right now for ayako-chan to come home. we are going cherry blossom viewing tomorrow.

after takahata, i will be staying in asakusa (yet another part of tokyo) alone. asakusa supposedly has a great local flavor of old japan and also a good nightlife. let the adventure begin.

parsons

i got into parsons!

the news is a bit delayed, but thank you again to everyone who helped me with my application, and those whose encouragement gave me the wherewithal to make my application happen this year, finally.

my request for a deferral was very politely rejected, but they said that next year should i decide to reapply, i simply need to send an updated CV and don't have to redo the whole application. although there is no guarantee for readmission, it's nice that they can keep my info on file so i won't be an unfamiliar name.

bathroom talk

i'll be frank.

on a normal day, i would say, going to a bathroom is a solitary experience steeped in muscle memory and repetitive custom so much so that generally, i would say that we take for granted the knowledge required to 'go to the bathroom.'

something that always takes me by slight surprise when i visit japan is the brainpower required simply to use a bathroom facility properly.

european style toilets are de rigeur in most homes these days, but if you happen to find yourself really trying to get a taste of japan staying in traditional inns or old world style yakitori (skewered chicken) houses, ladies, be aware that you might be squatting upon a glorified hole in the ground.  porcelain, yes, but it doesn't make that whole process any more graceful than if you were camping.

but holes in the ground have existed since antiquity- what really gets confusing are the seated toilet contraptions.  firstly, most toilet seats are heated.  i remember the very first time i realized this, and that the heat wasn't from someone else who had sat on the toilet for a very long time (to warm it, just for me presumably).  warm toilet seats at home inspire in me the same kind of disgust i have for standing in a shower or bathtub after the water has stopped running (my old roommates know about this well- and have complained about the lake i would make on the bathroom floor since i refused to towel off actually standing inside the shower). but no, out of courtesy or comfort for the sitter, the seat is preheated.  and now i'll never know how long the person before me was there...

many toilet seats in homes are covered.  not just the lid part, but i mean the whole seat.  at my grandparent's house, it is covered in a terry fabric, like a towel. think as you wish about this one.

we haven't even covered the basics of 'how to wash your bottom' yet. in public facilities in metropolitan areas, there might be signs inside each stall in english to try to explain to bewildered westerners that of course you should spray your butt with water of all different pressures and fountain shapes every time you go to the bathroom. i've never been in the men's bathroom, but really, there is a bar on the side of each seat- kind of like a remote control for some ride- with pictures of fountains for front, back, and a whole bunch of buttons i'd rather not press while seated for fear of some sort of surprise niagra falls emerging from the throne.

ok, and then, there are always two different size flushes, naturally, for different sized excrements. and then, in many homes, when you flush, there is a little faucet that sprouts water to wash your hands with, a mini sink of sorts.

in public bathrooms, many stalls have little stools or seats for children and babies. there are always multiple hooks for coats and purses, and most likely you'll find toilet seat sanitizer (with signs that say 'please push 5 times to apply cleaner enough') for you to sanitize the seat upon which you are supposedly going to spend some time with the bidet.

brain tired yet? not to mention, most everything is automatic and electronic, including a faux flushing sound that turns on when you start to go to the bathroom so nobody can hear your real tinkle...

don't you think you could spend eons in there? and how do we ever survive in the brash west without heated seats with remote controlled bidets and faux flushing noises? 

really, i don't know, because girls only poop roses anyway.

history

the kitchen sink at my grandparent's house in ishikari is a stainless steel basin facing a wall of deep red tile.  there is one small flourescent lamp that hangs overhead.

as i stand there, washing piles of tiny dishes, each with their own purpose, i think of the lifetime my grandmother has spent, washing dishes, scaling fish,  peeling turnips, soaking onions right in that tiny windowless space.

today, my sister interviewed my grandmother. on my brand new iphone 4s, i have what will become hours of voice recordings recalling history of places and times worlds away from what my sister and i have ever known. stories of living through the war, of bartering in the black market, of baking fish for the customers who stayed at the family inn, of hiding bags of rice in crevices in the cieling, of being one of the lucky few who could attend high school.

sometimes i love blinding speed, of being able to live life so spontaneously and so in every moment that i barely have time to think or mull.  i think my youth makes me excitable, impatient- and i get frustrated when i don't have the freedom to move with abandon. 

but being here, i get used to the steady pace, regular, calculated even- and realize that things still get done, and people still enjoy life. moving through space and time with this much specificity takes an incredible amount of grace, a particular grace that is difficult to pin down and that i have only found here in japan.

it is a different kind of freedom here- within customs, rules, boundaries, you can be free. the world isn't so big and unmeasurable. within boundaries, there is empty space, mu, and how we move through this space with grace becomes both your peace and also your life's greatest work.

customs: japan

things in japan / at my grandparent's house that really make you feel like you're in someplace other:

1// you can buy hot coffee and hot tea from a vending machine

2// you can buy normal food at convenience stores and have them heat it up for you- imagine buying a hot panini at CVS?

3// you take your shoes off to try on clothes in a dressing room, and are always given a face mask to try on clothes so you don't get makeup on it

4// you only heat portions of your house- the unheated hallway is used as a second refrigerator- imagine piles of tupperware full of perishable food, sitting in the hallway where you walk to go to yoru bedroom

5// you can see your breath indoors

6// you don't leave a tip anywhere, not at restaurants, not in cabs, not for a haircut

7// you only change the water in the bathrub (ofuro) every few days- it si used more as a hottub rather than a bathtub because you wash up before climbing in

8// bus drivers, salespeople, and anyone working in a service position has a very specific uniform.  imagine a bus driver in medford wearing white driving gloves? i don't think so!

100, japan

happy 100th post! i had something else in mind for 100, but being a bit incapacitated with lack of technology here in hokkaido, i'll save that for later.

thus far, it hasn't really felt like traveling or vacationing or going on much of an adventure yet- it is more visiting with family than anything else. the days are eat, sleep, eat, repeat.  maybe a bit of reading in there or going to the market.  i feel like i am catching up on eating and sleeping well, which is good.

ishikari is, in many ways, a desolate town; the people are resilient but the weather unforgiving. we have been seeing some russian people at the supermarket, and it doesn't strain the imagination to see that russia might be similar in many ways to here.

i thought about hopping on a ferry boat to russia, just to see what it was like over there, but it seems there is a lot of red tape for travelers and those small port towns aren't geared towards tourists (aka it would be a big problem that i don't speak a lick of russian, much less understand any of it).  so, that idea is tabled for now.

today, some relatives are coming to visit (atsushi, his wife and two daughters).  obaachan is preparing a feast- i think most of the photos i have taken in japan thus far are of food!

one thing i noticed both last year and this year is a sense of lack of the individual in japan.  i don't know if i feel this way because i am traveling with family and am around them all of the time, or if it is a result of the country and culture that i am living in. i suspect it is a bit of both.  it will be interesting to see how i feel once traveling alone.

by lack of the individual i mean: i don't feel as individuated, i feel like my own personal accomplishments or goals or desires don't matter much as long as they promote and don't upset the good of the collective, which can mean family, society, workplace, etc.  especially being female, i feel like the expectation of how i occupy space is incredibly different, and in a way, it would be unseemly to proclaim my individuation too loudly.  constant deference to others is a must, being female, a daughter, a granddaughter, and a guest.

it is pretty interesting to be reading the second sex while on this trip.  very opportune, i would say.

california

i'm back! these two weeks of recouping / funemployment in between my big trips have been perfect, and california has been a most gracious host.

the days since i said goodbye to the snow in boston have been filled with time to yawn and stretch, get hot at bikram, paint, play music, and eat.

i've had a lesson both with aaron redner (of hot buttered rum string band) and chen zhao (of sf symphony).  it was lovely to catch up with both of them and to so immediately be able to plug into the music scene here (like having a lesson in the bowels of davies symphony hall just a phone call away). 

i've been exploring san francisco a whole lot- it really is a very romantic city, which i don't think i ever realized before. i applied to an apartment in lower nob hill, and i walked around the neighborhood at night to check safety (perfectly safe!) and at the top of the hill, near the cathedral, you could see all the way down those steep steep streets right into the bay with all of the shimmering, twinkling lights below.  there is a little oyster bar on a nearby corner. can't you just imagine, sitting on that corner on a summer night, by the bay and the gentle lights and in good company and with good music?  just thinking of that makes me glow. i think i'm going to like living here. 

i really feel like i've come full circle, in a way.  it was definitely necessary for me to move far away, and get really confused and struggle and figure things out about myself and the world, as cliche as all of that is. of course we all continue to figure stuff out and struggle forever- but for now, coming back to california- i can let out a little sigh, enjoy, recoup, reconnect, and rediscover why i so loved growing up here. 

just in time

it is snowing outside, just in time for me to leave... 

im doing my last packing inside, where it's cozy, listening to etta james and looking at the snow and making the lighting just how i like it to be. i know, so sappy. 

davis square gets better each time i come back- most recently, a new speakeasy type bar called saloon opened up in a basement space.  it was lovely- dark wood bar and wall moldings and warm crimson oriental rugs scattered about.  dim light, jazz music- you know, the kind of place where someone might in all seriousness wear a vest or bowtie or fishnets and fit in just fine.  highly recommended for that perfect mix of relaxed and still 'out and about.'

thank you to penney and linda for a lovely hour of tea and cookies yesterday afternoon- i loved helping you pin images to the design board for the new show and catching up.  forever thank you for the impact you have had on my life in such a short amount of time of knowing each other!  also wonderful to catch up with joanna (kurkowicz), and get my hands on her new album.  i was sorry to have missed nancy bauer who is on leave, but am definitely paying her homage by finally working my way through simone de beauvoir. 

being in boston: orchestrating a lasagne dinner with lots of sous chefs, going to burlington to lunch on lobster rolls and wagyu sliders with kathryn and evan near their work (going to burlington is absolutely comical every time, i am just such a fish out of water there), meeting up with sharon by her work in the north end to have lunch with her at boston sail loft, visiting all my old employers at shops, and just in general be back and live with friends and be free to do as i please. 

getting on a plane (again!) tonight, heading back to san francisco for a few weeks before i head out to tokyo. let's see how many coats i'm going to have to wear tonight through security to get my luggage to not be overweight. at least it's actually cold here...

back in boston

i'm sitting here, on evan and sharon's incredibly comfy couch, back in somerville for one last time...for, i'm guessing, quite a while.

davis square feels very small. it got me thinking about how anonymity can make people feel free; you aren't held accountable to (aka compared with) someone you were yesterday; you are free to be completely new every day. for me, anyway, it feels like some level of being a nobody makes me feel like i can grow and develop most naturally.  and, of course, without having to make small talk with a million acquaintances. i guess the moral of the story is, i don't want to live in a small town at this point in my life, especially if i've already lived there before!

so, i was reading blogs this morning (as i regularly do), and a blogger mentioned something about clothing being "locationally relevant." this is exactly what i have been talking about.  especially with multiple cities on one agenda, one has to think about practicality and also relevance, and then overlap so you don't end up with a ton of overweight baggage charges (which i also regularly do, and then unpack and repack on the airport floor). 

for example, this year, i think i will do a much better job of packing for japan (wearing denim in sapporo just did not feel relevant or appropriate at all). washington d.c. was still a wardrobe mess- what i now realize would have been perfect is a military-style parka, maybe in an olive green or dusty gray.  i don't own one, but i think it would also be great for san francisco, so i'll be on the lookout. my two outerwear options that i had with me, a leather jacket and a full length coat with fur, were perfect for new york but made me feel positively ludicrous in d.c. amongst polar fleece and suits. 

the thing is, it's not really about blending in, because i wouldn't necessarily wear polar fleece nor a suit.  but, it is about thinking about how your personal taste can be relevant within a certain environment. it's about being yourself while still engaging in and being present with the world around you.  being on the same wavelength, i suppose. so, here is to locationally relevant dressing. 

on another note, i bought simone de beauvoir's "the second sex" at strand in nyc...i'm working my way through it. i'm still in the parts about biology and ancient history about women in tribes and such- and so far, have found the information to be relevant to things i've learned in class but not to things in my own life- but i have a feeling that as i keep plodding along through the pages, this will change. 

Washington, D.C.

Being in Washington has been marked mostly by late night dinners and catching up with friends.  Nearly the whole Fairmount crew was reunited this weekend, and we spent lots of time doing nothing in the apartments of those who live here, pretty much ignoring the world outside.  We attempted to go to one museum on Friday, but as a group were more interested in the food trucks...however, the botanical garden greenhouse museum thing managed to be somewhat of a hit (there are lots of benches and you don't have to read much...American History Museum was well done but felt too much like being in class for most of us). 

Friday night we went back to a place we all had dinner at over the summer, Oyamel.  It is a sensuous spanish tapas place with orange petals lining the ceilings like a carpet of flowers and white candles dripping wax everywhere with infamous pitchers of margaritas.  We spent hours and hours there, per usual. 

After walking around ALL the monuments, Saturday night we went to Founding Farmers- industrial interiors with exposed beams and pipes lit with candles with fabulous southern food.  I had pot roast; it positively melts.  I would highly recommend both of these places for anyone visiting D.C.!

Now, just relaxing for a bit with Peter, Angela, and the kids, until I go to Boston on Wednesday.  I have lots of work and play to do there. Stay tuned. 

i love how straightforward you are

really, where else would you see this?

"the jealous husband" necklace at the met 

valentines get delivered via bus

dinner i made for meredith and zeb: pork loin, wild rice with cranberries and walnuts, salad, and california wine

hmmmm

lower east side, near my favorite tailor (hemmed 2 pants in 30 mins for $10), orchard tailor by fabian.

the perfect valentine

another few wonderful days in new york...the city lends itself to settings either massive or intimate, because there isn't the physical room for much in between. either you're at dinner in a tiny restaurant with one or two close friends, or you're at a huge city-wide event. either way, you're anonymous. as much as i love seeing all of my friends, and leisurely dinner parties, somehow new york isn't quite the place for that.  you need more space and more time for groups of 5 or 10 because walking and decision making become lethargic.

yesterday, meredith and i went to the museum of the city of new york to see a special exhibit on cecil beaton (fashion photographer, writer, socialite, costume designer). we then went on a stroll in central park, by the reservoir. the water looked beautiful next to the barren-ness of everything else. we then went out to lunch. it was nice to spend that time with her.

today, i sent my first suitcase from new york back to california. i am beyond excited to have all of my belongings in one place, and really set up shop (aka home), but i will be very sorry to leave this place.

i met up with lia at le singe vert, a little bistro seemingly plopped directly from paris into chelsea. we talked everything over beet salad and mussels mariniere.  we then headed over to the museum at FIT to see their new exhibit on american designers.  i saw the most exquisite red dress with folds of tulle swathing the ankles, and decided that if i ever walk down the aisle someday, it just might have to be in red (although i've long been somewhat anti-white dresses...).

as we left the museum we found a huge truck with clear siding, and inside was a free makeover station happening in promotion of covergirl / polyvore. after some free goodies and painted faces, we headed over to mood in the garment district to see what all of the hullabaloo over a fabric store was about. we browsed the isles (i looked for some lace trim for a blouse of mine and lia fell in love with a certain bluish grey marc jacobs wool) for a while, and then decided it was high time for dessert.

as we headed over to a train station, we stopped in a fur shop in the garment district.  we had to be buzzed in, and the shopkeeper was very wary of us (as if we didn't know fur was expensive!).  after a few minutes, she relaxed, and we tried on some hats.  i love random spontaneous things like that that you find in new york. we hopped on the train to the lower east side (i'm starting to think that here and the east village might be my favorite parts of manhattan...it's all interconnected with chinatown and little italy and is chock full of hidden streets and small gems...i just love it). we sat at peels, and shared elderflower tea and a sundae with salted caramel over candlelight.

valentine's day is very prominent in new york, the flowers spilling into the sidewalks from the bodegas, the bright foil balloons taking up space on the subway.  for me, at the end of the day, it's about spending meaningful time with those people you choose to spend the time in your life with, no matter what day of the year it is.  but since it does happen to be valentine's day today, i will say this-  i really couldn't have asked for a better valentine. thank you, new york, for another perfect day. 

at the met

me, sitting in a gallery at the met, happy as can be. 

white jeans / black suede fringe booties (that i have been wearing nonstop since december) / blue snakeskin silk headscarf / black envelope purse / my nana's wool and fur princess coat

you make me want to wear black leather

new york makes me want to wear a lot of black leather and do silly things like drink kombucha for lunch. if you don't know what that is, look it up.

san francisco makes me want to wear blue denim. i usually opt for black denim, so this is a change in mood.

boston makes me want to wear things i no longer have any desire to wear- like cardigans.

d.c.- well, i have no idea. somehow black hasn't fit the bill in the past, which is problematic since most of my wardrobe is black.

i always feel at home in every city (save for tokyo, maybe, when i feel the need to cover up more) in a perfect slightly sheer white tee shirt.

new york, i love the way you make me walk with a strong gait and the way you make me want to do my hair-- really really messy; nothing too precious. if you can even call that "doing" your hair. 

my kind of lazy day

Never have I slept so well in New York!  I woke up at 10, and had an open day ahead of me- with no worries about work or figuring out my life or being particularly productive.  My only motivation was pleasure.

I decided that today wasn't a museum day.  That felt too much like something I would do if I felt like I had to "make the most of" my time here.  But somehow being here felt like home, coming back to an old friend, this time without the same sort of pressures as I had in the fall- so accordingly, I spent the morning lazing about, listening to the street sounds, basking in the sun streaming through the one small crack between the buildings, and doing a bit of unpacking and repacking of my belongings here.  At about one o'clock, after filling a small duffel of things I didn't feel were worth shipping across the country, I headed downtown to Buffalo Exchange.  I spent my sweet time in the store. It's easy to be relaxed when you have no time pressure- long lines? No problem.  Want to look through every last garment on the racks?  As you wish.

I did a satisfying trade at Buffalo, always a great feeling when you get some interesting new pieces for old duds without spending a penny.  Then, I looked for food- I hopped into City Bakery totally expecting the full spread to be available at 4 o'clock.  I guess even in New York that's kinda late to be eating lunch.  So, I headed over to Souen to have my favorite jappa soup- a light, brothy concoction with fresh white fish and chock full of steamed vegetables and fresh grated ginger (see below!).  It wasn't super cold today, but the hot broth was really perfect.

I really wanted to spend the rest of my day in bookstores. I met up with Lia in Union Square after my meal and we headed over to Strand, where I finally found a beautiful vintage copy of The Second Sex (Simone de Beauvoir).  While Lia went to church, I sat in The Coffee Bean across the street with my camomile tea and new book. After church, we wandered around some more, and ended up bursting in the doors at Screaming Mimi's (vintage shop) just a few minutes before closing.  It was great to remember where things were, like where to drop off Buffalo's rejects (Goodwill around the corner), where to feed myself some decent and not overpriced food, where the bookstores are, or where the closest J.Crew is (haha, I definitely got my shopping down from all of those returns this fall!).

At around eight, we called it a night (how healthy and early!) and I came home, caught up with Meredith and Zeb, and plan to put myself in bed for another nice early night.  It's nice to be in New York for pleasure, but know my way around somewhat- not be a tourist, but not have to be a workhorse, either.

It's no fun to be forced to have a slow day if that's not where your pace wants to be that day- but having a leisurely day without feeling constrained by anything at all is really lovely.  I bought myself a week long unlimited metro card- I think it will be put to good use, because my kind of leisurely required 4 subway trips today. Maybe spontaneous is more the word. Who knows.

back in new york city

View from my jetblue window- greeted after a fitful night's sleep with a new york sunrise.

It seems so natural to be back here. Nothing at the apartment has changed- Maya the cat greeted me with her usual haughty-ness, and I promptly took a shower and started laundry as if I was coming home.

Lia and I decided to meet up at the Crosby Street Hotel, where they have a beautifully rich yet relaxed lounge / tearoom, where we are basked in warm light leaning on jewel toned upholstery with views of floor to ceiling windows overlooking a courtyard.  At $5 per pot of tea (we got one fresh lemon verbena and one berry blossom), what better place to catch up with old friends?

It started gently snowing outside (just enough for it to be beautiful, not past that thank goodness as we weren't properly dressed for real snow)! We strolled around SoHo in the snowflakes then headed to Brooklyn to cook at Lia's house for dinner.  She lives with an eclectic old woman in a crookedly beautiful brownstone in Brooklyn Heights.  We ate previously frozen ravioli with a made up sauce of olives and red peppers, very reminiscent of college, but made that much more classy with a bit of seltzer, good candlelight, and lack of talk about mundane things like work and weather.

I took the train home, just like it used to be. I caught up a bit with Zeb, it was nice to see him, and then went to bed early with full intention of sleeping for 12 hours.  It was weird being back here so quickly, so naturally, where the doormen all still remember my face and welcome me gracious swift openings of double doors, especially since the trip was so painless- 3,000 miles away, in just the blink of an eye.

Glassblowing

Had a fantastic time glassblowing today-

Something I had wanted to do forever, and finally had the opportunity to do it! I did a 6-hour one-day workshop at Public Glass in SF.  It was an intimate group of 3 students with one instructor.  I actually blew bubbles into molten glass to make a tumbler and a papeweight!  the activity was quite a bit more athletic than I had anticipated- lots of lifting hot glass on a stick (leverage!), working against gravity, walking quickly from one work station to another, and standing close to furnaces burning at thousands of degrees. 

Carmel

Carmel was a beautiful, quaint town.  Maya and I realized that we had both picked Mission Carmel for our 4th grade mission project because it is so pretty!  I guess a similar aesthetic runs in the family...

At a cute restaurant with good music called la bicyclette. 

We drove over to Monterey just to check it out...Cannery Row was too commercial but the sunset was beautiful.